Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
