I just saw a hot homeless man
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
