so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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