I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
