I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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