do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
