The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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