I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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