woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
