3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
