Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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