I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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