I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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