I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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