trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
