i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
