YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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