I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
