So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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