it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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