I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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