She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
