Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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