i permit you to call me
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i dont even know how to be here
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
