Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she pinky promised me she was 18
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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