I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
