We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He did a backflip because drugs
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