sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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