she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
