I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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