Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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