i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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