you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we made out on top of his cat.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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