Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
