Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize