roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
