you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
