Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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