he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
