I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
