i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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