I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize