I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
