Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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