If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
