i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he shaved USA in his pubs
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
