He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
