I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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