playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
