sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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