I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
