You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
