my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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