I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
