Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize