we have pet lesbian snakes
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
