So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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