Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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