the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
