Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
