I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Damn victory sex feels great
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
