I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
