Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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