just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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