Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
