My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
