well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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