I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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