upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
