Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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