I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
