yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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