But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
