whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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